Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize