Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
