He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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