a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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