Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
