she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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