Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
