I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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