I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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