she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
