So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize