im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
