There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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