Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
