i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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