College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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