I'm jealous of your bromance
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
