You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
