SEEEEXXX PLEASE
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
