She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
