Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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