I'm jealous of your bromance
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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