My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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