i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
