i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
