I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
