I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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