to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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