She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Even my vagina gasped.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
