As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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