i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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