Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
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i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
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I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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