I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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