i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
