It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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