i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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