bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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