He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
