real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
