And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
