I love black thongs
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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