tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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