gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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