i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
