I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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