he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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