know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
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mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
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Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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