I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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