No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
