She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
