forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
