we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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