It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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