I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize