Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
