There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
