Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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