I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
