I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
