this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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