Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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