I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
