he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
