new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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